Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Response to "The Story of Ian & Larissa"

If you haven't seen this video, you need to watch it.

The Story of Ian & Larissa from Desiring God on Vimeo.

Here are some of my favorite Piper quotes from the video:
"Marriage is mainly about displaying the covenant keeping love between Christ and His church"

"The beauty of the covenant keeping love, between Christ and His church, 
shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain"

And my favorite quotes from Larissa:
"As long as Ian could talk to me, we could make it work."

"When we're walking out our marriage practically, Ian can't do the secondary things, like working or making a meal for me, everything that's primary though he can do, which is leading me spiritually.  
Ian always comes back to the foundational truths of who God is and kind of reels me back in from my emotions, and that's the most important thing."

"We've been able to help them see that maybe the little things that they're excited for about marriage are worth being excited about, but they're not the end all and be all of their marriage."

"We're able to love each other, with I think, a more Christlike love because of Ian's disability, and understand that picture a little better than if you were healthy."

I think that this video is a must see for our culture, because we see very few marriages that so clearly reflect Christ's love and a pursuit of holiness through trials.  So many times we make marriage about us, when really and ultimately marriage is about Christ and His love for us, it's only because of His perfect love that we can truly love others.

I'm young and single which gives me very little credibility on this subject, but in my 26 years I've seen several friends who proclaimed to love the Lord, get married, and then a couple years or even months later get divorced.  They claim they "never loved her/him" that they "weren't compatible" or that it just wasn't what they expected, that their husband/wife changed.  I absolutely despise how lightly the covenant of marriage is taken in our culture.  When you say your vows you are making a covenant before God and the people at your wedding.  The definition of a covenant is a binding agreement - but people treat the covenant of marriage more like a piece of gum.  When they've chewed all they want and it's lost some of the flavor they just spit it out and look for another piece.  They turn marriage into a "what's in it for me" or "how does it make me feel" game instead of a serious commitment.  Many people look forward to the "secondary things" that come with marriage more than the "primary things", and I would guess many people even get married based on the appeal of secondary things.  This is why Christians date and marry people who aren't believers, because they are attracted to the idea of marriage so they compromise primary things for secondary things.  I also believe this is why there are a plethora of relationships that are not centered on the Lord.

Hollywood paints a glamorous picture of marriage that's all fun and full of "happily ever afters", but that's not reality.  Contrary to the Beatles' song, love is NOT all you need, Christ is all you need.  Marriage is hard.  Relationships are hard, because we're all sinners.  Marriage requires selflessness like you have never had to display before.  As a sinner entering into a marriage covenant, you can't expect your sins to lessen, in fact they will be amplified.  This isn't all bad because when dealt with correctly this will lead to your sanctification, but it will not be easy.  Your life is bound to another and you are to love, serve, and sacrifice for your spouse, even when it's not fun, even when it's hard, even when it's painful.  This video is a great example of loving, serving and sacrificing when it's not fun, when it's hard, and when it's painful.  I think that this picture of marriage is much more accurate and gives us hope that although they may never have a picture perfect "happily ever after" that they can find a "joyfully ever after" in the midst of trials because of their understanding of God's sovereignty, and through an understanding of the love that God lavished on us.  As an outpouring of that love, we see a selfless relationship that points others to Christ.

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